Wins, Misses, and Why Both Matter

I want to share a story with you today about wins and misses.

I often talk about successes, my own, and those of ACE Board Certified women who are landing board seats. What I talk about less often is what happens when you do not get selected. That matters just as much.

Late last year, I applied for a board position with a local credit union where I have been a member for more than twenty years. I believe deeply in local institutions, and I genuinely wanted to serve and contribute my experience.

I went through the full process, initial phone conversations with the chair of the nominating and governance committee, followed by an in-person meeting with that chair and another board member. During the interview, they shared that three candidates were being considered and that a decision would be made after the first of the year.

Yesterday, I received a message asking me to return a call. This morning, I did and learned that I was not selected.

This was not the first time I have been passed over for a board role, and it likely will not be the last.

The reason they shared was thoughtful and honest: the board felt I was overqualified for the associate director role they were filling. Their structure includes three associate directors who serve for a period of time to learn the organization, culture, and finances. When a board seat opens, one of those associate directors typically steps into the full director role. It is a sound governance model and one that works well for many organizations.

I had gone into the process knowing this. I was willing to spend the time in the associate role because my motivation was service. I wanted to contribute. I wanted to bring value to the community, even if that meant waiting my turn.

Still, the match was not quite right.

I asked for feedback, thanked them for their transparency, and let them know I remained interested if an opportunity arose in the future. The chair assured me several times that he would not forget me. We ended the call warmly and professionally.

So why am I sharing this with you?

Because there are a few important truths worth repeating:

First, you do not win everything.

Second, the board market is competitive.

Third, timing and fit matter just as much as qualifications.

Even when you are highly capable, sometimes especially when you are highly capable, a role simply may not be the right match at that moment.

There is also tremendous value in going through the process itself. You meet new people. You practice interviewing in a board context. You gain insight into how different boards think about succession, governance, and readiness. You place your name into circulation.

And importantly, you build relationships that may matter later. Board members retire. Circumstances change. Opportunities appear when you least expect them.

Board service is a long game.

I often liken the board search to dating. You may meet several people along the way, learn from each interaction, and still only make a long-term match with one. The goal is never to force a fit, it is to find the right fit for both sides.

If you are reading this and feeling discouraged, perhaps you have interviewed, followed up, and still have not landed where you hoped, please know this: a miss still has value.

Stay in relationship. Keep learning. Keep refining your positioning. Then move on to the next opportunity with confidence and perspective.

Board service is a long game. Patience, preparation, and persistence matter.

Here is to a new year, new opportunities, and staying in the process.

Warmly,

Michele